Why I hate telephones
By Bard of Ely
Phones are a device I need but hate
I have never liked telephones, not even old fashioned ones, and my first job back in 1971 was working in Telephone House in Cardiff as a Sales Officer and it was hell! Basically I had 13 telephone exchanges and a constant stream of letters and phone calls from would be customers, who often had turned from being polite and friendly to angry and abusive.
You
see, at that time the Post Office, which later became British Telecom,
had an advert which said "Make someone happy with a phone call." It
featured a bird character called Buzby and was displayed in public
everywhere, even on bus shelters and billboards. There were Buzby
T-shirts and badges too.
There would be a phone number given to contact to get a phone put in, and if you happened to be in any of the areas I covered that meant that call went to me.
Well, I am sure you are thinking, that all sounds fine and good marketing on behalf of the phone company, and so it would have been if they could have delivered what was advertised. You see, most of the exchanges I had were unable to supply phones due to a shortage of lines or exchange equipment.
So I would do what I was supposed to do and get all the details like name, address, what model of phone they would like and colour, and it would all be going along just fine until the customer would ask when they could expect the engineers to call to install the new phone. I would say they would have to wait a while but I was putting them on a waiting list. I would apologise for having to do this.
But then I would be asked: "When you say a while, how long does that mean? Do you mean weeks, or months?"
At this point I would have no option but to tell them the grim truth, which in some exchanges such as Merthyr Tydfil was not months but years! If the customer was elderly they would say stuff like "My husband and I might not be here in years because we are old-age pensioners, so what do you mean years?"
Eventually customers like this, having become angry would demand to speak to someone in charge. I was instructed to tell them I was that person but if they really put up a fuss I could hand them over to my boss who used to pretend he was the Telephone Manager. When we answered the phone we would announce that this was the "Telephone Manager's Office."
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Telephone managers
Fortunately for me some of these very angry customers became what were known as "Telephone Manager's cases." Some of these were where the customer had contacted their MP. It was a horrible job in every way and the phones kept ringing and the intray pile never went down for long.
I knew that nearly every customer I spoke to was likely to be an unhappy and unsatisfied one and the work actually made me ill and I was diagnosed with gastric ulcers starting as well as depression and anxiety states. Eventually I quit!
Since then my later experience with the phone has not been good apart from some enjoyable conversations with friends and family and in later years as a means of getting Internet access. But it has come at a heavy price.
When I was back in Wales I had no end of trouble with ntl, the company providing my phone and Internet access and I ended up finding the nthell website where other dissatisfied customers shared their woes. ntl often used to disconnect me when I was in the middle of doing something. No explanation.No apology!
Officially the company said they were having problems because they had too many subscribers and weren't geared to cope with the traffic and demand.It reminded me of the old job I had where we could not deliver what was advertised.
I was glad to leave ntlworld behind when I moved over here only to find that the Telefónica company also has just as many unhappy customers and complaints about their service or lack of it are common in the press here.
Nevertheless, they have the monopoly and I need Broadband Internet connection so was glad to be able to take over Cindy (Mistyhorizon2003's) line when she moved back to Guernsey.
When I myself moved up north I transferred my number and Telefónica turned up within days to connect me. I was very pleased with their prompt service but it has been a battle since with my phone, which has a whole range of problems.
I had had to buy a cellphone in order for Telefónica to be able to phone me to say when they were coming to do the work. Until that point in time I had resisted all efforts to get me to get such a phone and had said I would never get one. This is because I believe that the dangers of electromagnetic radiation from such devices is very real.
I got one but still don't understand how it all works although I have used it a few times since to phone my boss to tell him my phone has gone down and so I am unable to work right now. It appears that the SIM card on the horrible thing has run out now so I cannot use it without buying another one which I am very loathe to do.
The normal landline phone I have doesn't ring properly and just gives half a ring at times. When you try to have a conversation it can become impossible because of the crackling on the line that is so loud you are unable to hear what is being said.
Also it can and does disconnect the Broadband meaning you have to reconnect. At least that was what it did with the old modem I had. I now have a new PC and a fancy-looking router with flashing lights and an aerial but the problems persist. Now I get disconnected totally - the phone goes off and the Internet with it.
Last year, I couldn't stand any more and got in touch with Telefónica who sent engineers around. One called first and spent many hours testing and examining the wires and he said he thought it was due to old wiring in the building. He went away for lunch and came back hours later and in all this time I had no access to the Internet so was getting behind with work.
When he returned he informed me that it wasn't possible to fix it. He showed me a cabinet in the wall down the corridor and a bunch of cables in it that he pulled out and drew a diagram on some paper to explain that all this section of the corridor and apartments were fine but the part I lived in was not.
Conversation between me and him was difficult because his English was as bad as my Spanish and we were both struggling to explain what we wanted to say. I got him to understand that I needed a connection for work and asked when it could at least be put back on but working badly.
It was Friday then and he said Monday at the earliest. I knew I was going to be way behind if that was the case and was feeling stressed and sad.
Then a second engineer who had been doing something on the floor above called down to him and after a conversation between the two they said the good news was they would be able to get it back on for me by the evening.
I went back to my apartment to wait it out. I was so depressed about how the day had turned out I got out my guitar and tuned it so I could play slide and ended up writing a blues song about the horrible experience.
Then, at last, there was a ring on the doorbell around 8pm and it was the two engineers plus a supervisor. They said it should all be back on but they had to do a few checks and see it was all working again.
They came in and did their checks and the boss wanted to see if my Internet Broadband was now on again. It wasn't. He messed around with the modem box and the leads for the phone and the PC. He went on the PC and tapped around on my keyboard and finally announced that the problem was the modem.
He tried something else and then said it was the phone that was faulty. He said I needed a new one. They all got up to go and I thought they were getting a new phone for me.
A few minutes later the first engineer came back not with a new phone but to tell me they could not supply one but I would have to get one myself. I was feeling really fed up with it all but went back to see what, if anything, I could do. Amazingly the phone and Internet connection were back on and stayed like that the next day.
I concluded that if three trained men, including a supervisor, were unable to decide for sure what the problem was - it had been diagnosed as old wiring, a modem and a faulty phone but now it was all on again that I would make do with what I had.
Sadly the problems were soon to start again some days after. But what is really weird about all this is that I have had weeks when all has worked fine and then the trouble starts again. It is all very random and can strike at any time.
Anyway, my current problems with it have got so bad that now the whole phone can go dead and of course the Internet is then unusable. It was off all last night from the point of view of being usable for anything but is back on again at present, which is how I am able to do this.
Hubber and author CJ Stone knows well that I am a technophobe and horrible experiences like this make me that way. Both CJ and I have a friend called Willow who takes the phone thing even further and has been known to refuse to speak on them.
It takes a lot to get me really annoyed but over the last couple of days I have been fuming at times when the Internet and phone has gone dead. I am reminded of a radio show I used to enjoy by BBC Radio 1 and Radio 2 DJ Steve Wright. Steve's show, which was and is called Steve Wright in the Afternoon featured a character called Mr Angry.
Mr Angry would say in a very irate sounding voice: "It makes me so angry, so angry I could throw the phone down!" The way I have been feeling I could happily throw mine out!
Steve Wright in the Afternoon
Comments
Glad to know telephone woes are a global phenomenon! When I'm online my landline squawks like an indignant hen and it's impossible to conduct a conversation without repeatedly asking the other person to "SPEAK UP PLEASE"!! And this is the day and age of advanced technology...
i hear that...
surprised it let me post....getting somewhere i suppose...can't sign in anymore for some reason....phones-I am without...for many reasons..
You dumped your woes so beautifully, what an interesting history of phone service. Your knowledge of how it "really" works is one of your barriers to embracing it, very understandably.
Do you ever notice though, that whenever you "really" need it, it seems to kick in?
Thank you Andromida, FP, John and Emohealer! I lost it again for hours earlier but it's back now so I am posting while I can!
Every so often I have romantic dreams about moving to a faraway land. Then I read things like this and realize I'm not cut out for it. I have a flawless internet connection. During the past 5 years, it's been down 1 day, and I ran off to the local library that has free wi-fi.
Thanks for posting, Nelle! Sounds great unlike this!
Wow, and I thought our phone company was bad :) I really sympathize with you.
As an astrologer I feel duty bound to inform you that in all likleyhood your bad-relationship with technology is probably due to an affliction from Uranus (new-fangled-things) to Mercury (communications). The silver-lining is that this emphasised Mercury is a hallmark of writers.
I have Telefonica need I say more
Hi Fen! Thanks for the info! Today there was a power cut as well as the phone being on and off! I am waiting for an engineer now!
Thanks for posting, Maggs!
Hello Bard, We went to London on the train today and on the way talked about your Hub, and our phone experiences - so thank you very much. For example, we had both forgotten about how we had to wait for months to have phones back in the 1970s.
Then when we finally got phones, Pat had a Trim Phone. It was very sophisticated.
We have both become over-relient (in our opinion) on Internet connection. Last month Pat lost connection and went to the public library to work and discovered that some really scary people hang out around the computers!
Enjoyed both your hub and some of the comments. Things aren't much different here in the states in many locations. When we lived in rural West Virginia there was no land line available for the phone, and the cell phone only worked if you climbed the hill behind the house, pointed it towards the valley below in an area void of trees. Then, if there was a lull of only a few seconds in conversation, the line would drop. LOL Not too much fun in the snow or 9 degree weather. Internet there was dial up in our one stop light town, available only after the local teens went to bed during low traffic.
Here in the big city, not much better, depends on cable company -- one service goes out, they all do. 2patiricias comment rings loud and true -- libraries are where the homeless, the people applying for welfare online, unemployment online, and the criminals go to see their probation officers.
2patricias, I am glad my hub gave you a topic to discuss! thanks for your comments! Thanks for the feedback too, Jerilee!
Am I one of the last people in the Western hemisphere not to own a mobile phone? I don't want one because... Hmm...maybe this calls for a Hub on the subject!
Please write one, Adele! As for me I am still waiting trapped in my apartment in case engineers call. The phone comes on an off at random and Internet access is like bad DialUp!
And a poem rant from me at this stage of the proceedings:
Rant about Telefonica
I have lost what little respect I had for this company
After three days of being a prisoner, of being housebound,
Waiting for someone to turn up.
I have prayed for a connection,
I have watched a Telefonica display on my crappy telephone
Fading on and off, telling me it's "Activo"
But it's not really - it's a lie!
I have had to wait over 12 hours to check my e-mails
And that's on Broadband!
I have been unable to work,
I have been unable to enjoy my life at all,
I have been unable to phone someone,
I have been unable to communicate!
And they wonder why people complain!
Troublesome or not I'd sure hate to make-do without our telephones, as well as many other modern conveniences. Although wouldn't it be fun to experience an Amish-like existence, the pre-electrical machine age? Just for a little while, of course, wouldn't want to plow furrows with mules or whatever. But we'd sure have to become in-the-flesh conversationalists, wouldn't we? Good to read your material, ol' Bard of Ely. Later!
Thank you for your feedback, Kosmo! Personally if I didn't depend on the PC for my income I actually think I could abandon this technology for an "Amish-like existence".
Sorry to hear about your problems Steve. It is likely on your mobile that your only problem is not that the sim has "run out", but that as you have not put any additional credit on it for beyond the agreed time limit, you need to put some on to reactivate it. Most of these mobiles (even over here), have a minimum amount you need to spend to keep your line activated. This is not much, but does mean putting £5 - £10 on every six months or so.
Hi Cindy! I have finished with the mobile that I never wanted to begin with, so it doesn't matter to me whether it's the SIM card or what you suggest - it gives me the perfect excuse to not use it and I can go back to being a non-user! I only got it originally because Telefonica said I had to have a mobile so they could get in touch to say when they were calling to connect me here when I moved in.
As for the main problem it was finally sorted out on Thursday afternoon by a woman engineer who did something all the past male engineers could have done (I had 2 here last year for many hours and their supervisor after checking it all finally said I needed a new phone but I never got one)- she borrowed a stool and went along the corridor and put in new wiring. After that the phone worked perfectly and my Internet connection speed has speeded up. She proved that the supervisor was wrong and that there was nothing wrong with the phone to start with.
Rob, who was helping by phoning Telefonica on my behalf as I could do nothing being housebound waiting for them to arrive, was told on Tuesday that they were unable to find my address and then told the day after that the engineer had marked the job as done. From this experience I have concluded that Telefonica staff lie, are incapable of simple things like finding a well known building here, make stuff up as they go along, and don't know much about what they are supposed to be experts at, however, there are also good ones but you may have to wait a long while to find them! Three cheers for the woman engineer who was able to fix my phone when all her male colleagues failed to do so and some failed to even get here!
Glad your problem is sorted out now Steve. I had similar experiences myself with Telefonica when I lived in Tenerife, most memorably when after a few months of my phone line being disconnected when I had tenants renting the apartment, I went to have it recconnected and they tried to tell me I needed new wiring. I did my best to explain in pigeon Spanish that the line had been working perfectly three months earlier, and I could not see why I now needed new wiring. Eventually they took another look in the outside box, and within about 5 minutes they reconnected me with NO need for re-wiring at all.
It's a mystery as to why it is often so difficult to do something simple here and why staff of various services appear to be so incompetent! I have got used to it but with the phone being off it was really inconveniencing me badly!
At least I get all my post here and on time!
Hurrah for the civilised world then! All the leccy stuff always works in Angleterre. What's up with them buggers? Don't they train their staff then? Blimey, you can imagine the furore over here, can't you? It'd be on all those prog's I go out of my way not to see- Watchdog and that- heads would roll...
Fen, I thought ntl were bad in the UK but in comparison they were wonderful company for service and I take back all my past complaints about them! lol
I guess living here in Southern California we are spoiled. I didn't know there were problems with phone systems, still. All I can say is that I've gotten an education. Oh, also the hub was very good.
Thank you! On this island there are all sorts of problems but it is funny because people who don't live here think this is paradise! It is but with all sorts of problems! lol
I was a kid when the Buzby campaign was in full spate and I remember seeing the words "Give Buzby psittacosis" spray-painted on a wall. BT has improved massively since those days, although I understand that the broadband side of its service isn't as good as its phone provision.
Personally I regard the phone as a necessary evil and much prefer to communicate via email if possible. The phone is too invasive for my liking.
I prefer email too, EmpressFelicity!
andromida 2 years ago
Sometimes I wanna get rid of cellphone,specially when it affects my privacy.But I love broadband Internet.I noticed one thing that many older people do not like cell phone as much as younger people do.Thanks for this wonderful hub.